36 healthy things I want to do before I turn 36

A Healthy Bucket List: 

1. Run a 10K
2. Lose 15 lbs
3. eat "clean" for one week
4. eat "local" for one week
5. find a running partner
6. Do a virtual race
7. bring my bicycle back home
8. Hike Mt Pisgah
9. Hike Spencer Butte
10. Hike Ridgeline Trail
11. Hike the horse trail
12. buy a jogging stroller
13. call a friend once a week
14. go on mommy dates
15. Date my husband once a month
16. Take a bicycle ride with Camille
17. Buy a bike trailer for Colby
18. Start a food journal
19. ..

I ran out of ideas at that point, but I'll keep working on it!

God is Crazy. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

God is absolutely crazy.  Certifiable.  Seriously! 

Before you label me as a heretic, let me explain.

Fifteen or 20 years ago, about the time I started thinking of someday becoming a mother, I always figured that I'd have a couple of kids, then adopt "or something". 

I met my Shannon in 1997 and we found that we more or less shared this assumption about our lives.  We'd have kids, then some other form of kids would follow.  I thought perhaps we'd adopt from China.  He thought maybe a ranch for troubled boys.  It was all good. 

Later, after marriage and two children, we started thinking about fostering.  Our town has a Heart Gallery.  Basically, they take professional photos of foster kids looking adorable, then use them to advertise for a forever home.  And then they take these galleries all over town.  The mall, church, vacant store space, the airport.  Shannon and I were drawn to these Heart Galleries.  We would read each and every bio as we looked at each photo.  Our hearts ached for these children. 

Fast forward somewhat to this year.  Stronger and stronger we've both felt that our time to become foster parents was near.  It is an indisputable calling on each of our hearts.  Finally, our only hold-out was our vehicle.  We only have a small sedan that barely fits the 2 car seats that we already have.  A third simply wouldn't work.  So we prayed, "Lord, when you're ready for us to be foster parents, send us a minivan."  And this week...He did. 

Now for the crazy part.  I'm not a natural mother.  I am often at a loss for how to handle situations with our two children.  It just doesn't come naturally to me.  Instead, I read books, I ask other moms for advice, I follow birth club forums.  And somewhere along the way, our kids are growing up healthy and nurtured.  A LOT of this has to do with Shannon.  Parenting does come naturally to him.  He has an innate ability to handle both children, to be the calm in the storm.  But I entirely lack this trait. 

And that's why God is crazy.  He wants us, ME, to be foster parents.  To actually take someone else's children and nurture them. 

Are you sure, God?  'Cause honestly this doesn't sound like your best idea. 

I've always heard the quote "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called."  And I'm pretty sure that has to fit this situation because I am in no way equipped.  I barely have the patience for my own 2 progeny.  And I carried them each for 9 months, lovingly rubbing my belly.  I nursed them out of babyhood and into toddlerhood.  What will I do with -- how will I handle -- someone else's children?

Shannon and I are in full agreement -- this is a calling that God has placed on each of us.  The time is now.  God has asked us and we are answering, "I'll go, Lord.  Send me."  We're in 100%, even if I do think He is crazy.

Tragedy and First Love

I was listening to a song on the radio tonight. It's one that I really like; we sing it often at church.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

(credit where credit is due: "Come, Though Fount of Every Blessing" Robert Robinson, 1758)

I got to thinking about the words. Prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love. For me, at least, it's so true. When you're around a lot of Christians, you'll often hear about "leaving your first love" or "getting back to your first love". Well, that's what it's about. We meet God, we fall madly in love. The burning desire to be with Him lasts a few months, maybe a couple of years, but then we fall into a routine. Just like with regular relationships.

I don't want to leave my first love. I want to be as close to God and as on fire for Him as ever. But how?

I remember back to 2009. I had a miscarriage and while in the ER, I found myself praying over and over and over. And singing praise songs to myself over and over for hours. Afterwards, I hungered for God like never before. This feeling was very strong for about 6 weeks. Then, while I had grown and matured in my faith, I still slipped back to the old routine.

And it dawned on me tonight that maybe the way to keep a burning desire for God is to always be going through tragedies. Perhaps this explains why, in the Bible, God seems to always have awful plans for his most faithful followers. Perhaps Paul went through trial after trial specifically to keep his faith very strong, to keep him close to his First Love.

I, of course, don't want to experience trials or tragedies any more than anyone else does. But if God can use them, then I somewhat understand their place in our lives. And I think I have a clearer vision of why Paul and other "heroes" of the Bible always seemed to have such rotten lives.

Things to ponder...

I am Lot

Yesterday we heard a great sermon at church based on Abram and Lot. The essential lesson was that Abram gave Lot the first choice of land, knowing that Lot would choose the very best land for his family and animals. Yet Abram trusted that God would take care of him no matter what, so Lot's choice of land (thereby leaving Abram the lesser plot of land) ultimately didn't matter.

Our pastor encouraged us to do the same in our daily lives. He called it a "you first" attitude. On the highway, let the other driver go first. In the grocery store, let someone with 2 items go in front of you. In your family, put your own desire aside to let your spouse "go first".

Some of my notes from the sermon:
-When we say "you first", we learn an amazing amount - humility and service to others
-"You first" is a clear marker of someone who knows & loves God, we reflect God
-Abram's faith was such that he was able to let Lot choose
-God said "you first" to us

Anyway, in all of this, I realized something.

I am Lot.

I tend to think of myself first. What is best for Heather is surely best for the rest of my family. "When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

At the grocery store, I consider letting someone in front of me, but then I think that we all have to wait in line. I've been waiting, so should they.

On the highway, I think that I have the same right to the road as they. If we all obey the rules, we'll all get home alive.

This was a big revelation for me, and kind of a painful one. I've been a Christian for over 20 years and this is the best I can do? Have I learned nothing?

Our pastor challenged us to live the next 7 days with a devoted "You first" attitude.

Okay, I'm going to do it. Starting today. When the alarm went off this morning, I said "You first" to Shannon and while he got up to shower, I went back to sleep. :)

A photo worth more than 20 words

Found this on Facebook. EXACTLY what this blog is all about! :)

Turn on the lights!

First thing this morning, my daughter woke up and wandered into the dark living room, turning on every light as she went. My first thought was exasperation, but I realized that I do it, too. I don't like the dark overmuch and I prefer to have most of the lights on. The brighter the better, I guess. Shannon's pretty much the same way. Our family likes the light. Dim rooms, not so much.

And of course, I thought of God. "Walk in the light." "Come to the light." "God is light." Etc and so forth. All platitudes aside, life really is better when we're fully embracing who God is and committed to living a life with Him. Not that bad things don't happen to us, but that we have His support. His shoulder to cry on, if you will. But I get away from my analogy.

Back to the light, so to speak.

I've lived all kinds of faiths. I've done the "I'm a good person and that needs to be good enough for God." But that's a pretty dim life, even though it seems light enough.

I've gone down the "God is a myth, the Bible is a fairytale" route. That's one dark path, at least it was for me. Not the best days of my life. Took a few years for me to see the correlation. No faith in God + life = lots of troubles

But the last 15 years since I dedicated my life to God? Generally happy and full of love and life. Yes, I am a walking cliche! But it's true. In that 15 years, I've gone through some very difficult times, including bankruptcy and a traumatic miscarriage, but when I can lean on God, when I can call out his name during the darkest moments, well, then I'm like a little child who has her mommy kiss her owies away. That simplifies it a bit. After all, life is full of pain. But they are so much more bearable with Someone Bigger to help you through it.

I'm rambling now so I'll close this blog post. I'm going to go turn on some more lights.